"A lot has changed. My shirt smells strongly of breast milk. My baby is asleep on the bed. Poor Aydin, I wonder how he will adjust to not having mummy around all the time. I know that I will probably be holding back the tears when I go back to work next week. It boggles the mind just how much I love him. And I cant even think of leaving him in the care of other people. Makes my heart heavy …
I find myself having to control my possessiveness of his love. I know the more people in his life, the richer his life will be. My Contented Baby book says no caregiver can replace the mommy bond that we have. I hope so. I’ll be heartbroken if he ever preferred to cuddle with someone rather than me.
Zul and I are married 2 years today. Time really flies. It seems only yesterday that we were out every weekend scouring wedding paraphernalia for our big day. Now we have a little boy, the most beautiful little boy I’ve ever seen.
My bright, light of the Moon. Aydin.
I was reading online that there is name for what I am feeling – Working Mom’s Guilt. It pulls no punches and well… speaks for itself really. I never used to understand why some women became housewives especially in today’s increasingly expensive world. It seems that if you want your children to have a shot at an overseas education, both parents had better be working and saving for it from the get-go. Otherwise, all hopes hang on scholarships from a government dependent on falling oil supplies. I’m not sure the government will be as generous in 17 years time. Or whether our local universities will be viable if government funding ever decreased. We will see. Better to plan for something more… certain"
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